We’re very fortunate that Survivors are willing to speak up against domestic violence. Here are some things that Survivors have shared with us.

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“You think you have a plan in place. I had money stashed in my car, extra clothes packed for me and my children, all of our important papers safe in one place, secret code words with friends to let them know when I was in trouble, but the truth is the day I left I had the clothes on my back and $20 in my pocket. A friend gathered my children out of their beds in pajamas in the middle
of the night. They had no shoes and not even their favorite stuffed animals. The friends who so graciously helped were suddenly in danger. He went to their houses and offices sometimes with police to look for us. So in the middle of dinner at my mother‟s house my mother and I took my kids and drove out of town. We didn‟t know where we were going. We just knew we couldn‟t stay at
her house. We ended up in what felt like the middle of nowhere in a hotel that my sister paid for from across country. My mother left with tears in her eyes not knowing what would happen next. We had no car and knew no one but the
door locked and we were together.

One of the scariest phone calls I have ever made was to Homesafe to see if they could protect me and my 2 children 6 and 9 at the time. I had no idea what a “shelter” would look like. We sat in the hotel lobby with a single suitcase waiting for them to pick us up.
It was the best decision I could have made. We lived in the shelter for the whole summer and into the Fall. We were able to live as a family without fear. Simple things that people take for granted like eating dinner together, playing a game or walking to a park were new for all of us. There was no yelling no judgment. I remember one night I made sloppy Joes and broccoli for dinnerand we sat together at the kitchen table and both kids said ‘This is the best dinner ever!’

The staff at the shelter were amazing. They helped me get the state assistance I needed. They helped me get my kids enrolled in school when I had no paperwork on either of them. They took us to a clinic when my daughter was sick. They provided us unlimited drawing paper and fun activities so that we all enjoyed the Summer. The shelter was our home and we are closer because of it.

We have been in our own apartment for over 6 months now and as much as I would like to say happily ever after, the truth is the process is slow. Court orders are broken, orders of protection have to be filed again, the job market is impossible but I am so grateful to the staff at Homesafe because I know they are still a support system. My children and I laugh everyday. We are safe and happy and we know we can survive whatever comes our way!”

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“My name is Bethany.  I came to HomeSafe after my boyfriend hit me.  I will now start from the beginning.  I have been in a domestic relationship for 15 years; but in my mind it wasn’t abuse because he didn’t hit me.  He would cuss, told me I was no good, no one would want me.  I didn’t do anything right and how lucky I was to have him. I left that relationship to go to a better one that was wrong.  I came home from work one night, and my new boyfriend was drunk.  He started hitting me then I called the police.  I stayed at my friend’s house for one night.  The next day I tried to file for an Order of Protection.  I couldn’t get it because my abuser had taken my I.D., money and followed me to the court house.   A lady at the courthouse told me about HomeSafe.  When I got to HomeSafe, I met Sandy, the lady that runs the place.  She helped me get an I.D. and filed for the Order of Protection.  She went to court with me.  At that point in this situation my abuser fought against me getting an order.  Yet, the judge granted a no contact order.  Then my abuser appealed it and I had to go to a higher court to see if I would be able to keep it or not.  It worked out ok, the judge left the order as is, no contact for one year.

When I came to HomeSafe I thought I am not like these people, but I came to realize I am a victim of domestic violence like the other people living there.

I’ve learned from HomeSafe that domestic violence isn’t always hitting.  HomeSafe has showed me that I don’t have to be with an abuser.  I can make it own my own.  While, I was there I was able to get my Driver’s License back, a new job and a car of my own.

I’m not saying I know what a healthy relationship is but HomeSafe has shown me what an unhealthy relationship is. If you are in a domestic relationship talk to someone that has gotten out and now is a healthy person them self.”

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“Nine years ago I was going through my second divorce and I met someone and we started dating.  I thought I had me Mr. Right at the time.  He was very affectionate, caring and treated me like a queen.  After 4 months of dating we started living together. At first it was little things like he would get mad for no reason.  He would start name calling, cussing me out or break things.  I kept thinking what I am doing wrong and what I can do to make it better, 2 months after I moved in the pushing and shoving started.  He was always sorry and promised to never do it again.  A year later I married him and it only got worse. Now he felt that he owned me and could do whatever he wanted to me.  Over the course of our marriage, I left at least 20 times or more I would always go to my family or a friend’s house.  But after a few weeks I would always go back thinking he’s really sorry this time and he lovers me and would get help.  That never happened!

In 2008 he was arrested twice within a month for Domestic Violence.  I finally realized if I continued to stay my life would always be like this because my husband would never change and the violence was escalating and I could very well end up dead.  After his second arrest I decided to call HomeSafe because I needed more help than friends or family could give me.  This was the best decision I every made.  HomeSafe not only provides a safe place to live but they offer emotional support and the resources to help you to understand you are not
the problem and it is not your fault.  You are the victim.  My advice to anyone who is living with any type of abuse take the first step is call a shelter and get help.  It is the hardest think I have ever had to do but it is also the best decision I could ever have made for myself.  Your batterer won’t change but you can, and you can have a normal (healthy) life.  I am on the road to recovery.“

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“I met my brother’s friend at cook-out. He smiled at me and I smiled back. After introducing ourselves, he followed me and began a conversation. Well, we talked all afternoon. He shared about how badly he had been treated by his family and former girlfriends. I told him that I knew how he felt.

We started dating and within a few months, everything was great.  We decided to move to another state and start a new life together.  Everything was great. And then one day it all changed.

Nothing made him happy; he yelled at me and my children; he broke things in the house. After awhile, I left with my children, but he followed me to work, waited outside my job and watched me all the time.  He would call and try to find out who was at the house and what I was doing.  He promised to change if I came back. So I did.

This time it was worse than before.  He took my car keys and kept my family and friends away.  I lived this way for seven years and then I met someone from the Domestic Violence shelter. I learned about the Power and Control Wheel and learned that verbal abuse is considered Domestic Violence.

My life is great and I thank the people at the Domestic Violence Shelter for their support.”

Please do not leave comments on this page. Due to a high amount of spam, we probably won’t see it. If you need help, please contact one of the numbers below or the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233).

Sumner County: (615) 452-4315 or homesafesumner@bellsouth.net

Wilson County: (615) 444-8955 or wchsadvocate@bellsouth.net

Robertson County: (615) 382-0829 rcadvocate@bellsouth.net

For Non-English Speakers/ En Español: (615)-969-3260 homesafeembrace@bellsouth.net